… via cousin Bill in Alaska.

The easiest way to disprove these conspiracy theories is to consider what would be required for them to be true. Palin’s doctor, along with a good number of Mat-Su Regional’s doctors, nurses, and administrators would need to be in on the cover-up. On multiple occasions Palin would have had to pad her belly to make herself look pregnant. She would have needed to get friends to lie about seeing her breast feed. She would have had to silence an entire community – including two 17-year-olds and their friends – while the national media and the National Enquirer snooped around. Implausible to say the least.

Palin Interviewed at Working Turkey Farm, Doesn’t Scream and Run Away as Farmer Kills Turkeys.

Tim Blair has a delicious collection of comments, of which my favorite is:

What she does not know is that at least two helpless turkeys are being slaughtered alive in the background, their legs wiggling as their heads are stuffed into a grinder  by a smiling camera-hog executioner.[1]

One wonders about the parallel universe in which the writer exists, where turkeys are slaughtered in some other way than when they’re alive.

As Granddaddy used to say, “Hmph.  City folks.”

1. Well, not really a grinder. The conical thing is actually kind of like a funnel; it keeps the turkey still while the turkey is slaughtered by cutting an artery in the neck.

The state Personnel Board-sanctioned investigation is the second into whether Palin violated state ethics law in firing her public safety commissioner, and it contradicts the earlier findings by a special counsel hired by the state Legislature.

Both investigations found that Palin was within her rights to fire Public Safety Commissioner Walt Monegan.

But the new report says the Legislature’s investigator was wrong to conclude that Palin abused her power by allowing aides and her husband, Todd, to pressure Monegan and others to dismiss her ex-brother-in-law, Trooper Mike Wooten. Palin was accused of firing Monegan after Wooten stayed on the job.

The only problem? It was a bad oyster to start with.

SCRANTON – The agent in charge of the Secret Service field office in Scranton said allegations that someone yelled “kill him” when presidential hopeful Barack Obama’s name was mentioned during Tuesday’s Sarah Palin rally are unfounded.

The Scranton Times-Tribune first reported the alleged incident on its Web site Tuesday and then again in its print edition Wednesday. The first story, written by reporter David Singleton, appeared with allegations that while congressional candidate Chris Hackett was addressing the crowd and mentioned Obama’s name a man in the audience shouted “kill him.”

News organizations including ABC, The Associated Press, The Washington Monthly and MSNBC’s Countdown with Keith Olbermann reported the claim, with most attributing the allegations to the Times-Tribune story.

Agent Bill Slavoski said he was in the audience, along with an undisclosed number of additional secret service agents and other law enforcement officers and not one heard the comment.

“I was baffled,” he said after reading the report in Wednesday’s Times-Tribune.

He said the agency conducted an investigation Wednesday, after seeing the story, and could not find one person to corroborate the allegation other than Singleton.

In other news, while we hear about violent Republicans that can’t be found, there are a number of violent threats and attacks that we don’t seem to hear much about.

There is no serious debate (at least, none that has been brought to our attention) about the fact that at least the amounts paid for the children’s travel — $24,728.83 in 2007, according to the Washington Post — are taxable. The campaign’s tax lawyer has got at least that much of the law, and perhaps more, wrong. … The Palins, who had their tax returns done by HR Block, simply got it wrong. And the fact that the state payroll office got it wrong, too, doesn’t erase the Palins’ unpaid tax liability. — Jack Bogdanski

Let’s just summarize, then: The Palins, using the State of Alaska’s W-2s, and having their tax returns prepared by the biggest tax preparation firm in the US, still couldn’t get the returns done in a way upon which they could rely would stand up to hostile (and partisan, see the “We endorse Obama/Biden” graphic in the upper left of the website linked) scrutiny.

The fiends.

“In one part of the interview, I asked her what newspapers and magazines she read before being asked to be John McCain’s running mate,” Couric said. “And she couldn’t name any. So again, I turned to the crew and I said, ‘Hold it, guys,’ and I went to the Governor privately and said, ‘Governor Palin, did you not understand the question? I’m asking you to name some newspapers or magazines you read. You can’t come up with any? I’m just trying to make sure you’re clear and to give you a fair shake here.’ And she said, ‘Okay. Nightline? Is that a magazine?’ I said, ‘No, that’s a television show.’ She said, ‘What about Lou Dobbs? Isn’t that a newspaper?’ And I said, ‘No, that’s a man. Lou Dobbs is a man.’ And there wasn’t much more I could do. I’m not a miracle worker.”

The problem is, as his first commenter notes, “For those having trouble, the piece is satire, not real.” Basically, just as with the “kills 40 caribou at a time” and “thinks dinosaurs are ‘Satan lizards’” rumors, someone has taken satire as fact, since it has the political import they like.

Sarah Palin’s trip to New York this week was billed as the Republican vice-presidential candidate’s first chance to meet with foreign heads of state. That perception was fueled by her comment this month, when she told ABC News’ Charles Gibson that — as Alaska governor — she never had met with the leader of another nation.

But Palin misspoke, perhaps forgetting about a meeting with Iceland President Ólafur Ragnar Grímsson last October in Anchorage. The meeting was confirmed Thursday by Bill McAllister, Palin’s Alaska press secretary. — Seattle Times

You know, you could make this shit up, but no one would know the difference.

(Via Don Surber.)

Okay, this is now my favorite.

The whispers bouncing around the halls of NBC today say Palin is currently considering doing a surprise pop-in on the long-running late-night sketch comedy show. Additionally, OK! is hearing that Emmy-winner Fey might reprise her now-infamous impersonation.

You want to bet she doesn’t do it?

You want to bet that she won’t kill if she does?

A year or two after her marriage, when she’d just had Track and was very likely pregnant with Bristol, she was hanging out in a fast food joint in Anchorage trolling for musicians and told this guy she doesn’t do black guys. And he remembers being shut down, and her name, 18 years later.

Right.

I especially like the “when she learned I was black” part. Here’s the guy:

Apparently she really does need the glasses.